Loganprime, 43

Still Young at Heart I'm not looking to meet a cougar, but if you're a girl looking for a slightly older guy, then I'd like to draw your attention to the following form you can fill out...

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Now accepting applications for the following positions:

-Girlfriend
-Online Chat Buddy
-Superhero Sidekick

Requirements:
At least two years working experience in the following (or related) fields:
-Witty conversation
-Humor
-Being Female
-Adventuring

Though not required, proficiency in any of the following fields will improve your chances in the selection process:
-Standing back flips
-Doing three digit multiplication in your head
-Drawing Batman doing awesome stuff

NOTE: This is an entry level position, but with room for advancement as a reward for exceptional performance.

If you feel you would be a good fit, please submit your resume, references, and answers to the following questions:

What are your career goals for this position?
Have you ever been convicted of a felony?
Would you best describe Optimus Prime as, "awesome," or, "incredible"?
Did you seriously read this whole application, or did you only bother to check out my pics and vital stats?

Thank you for your interest, and good luck!